I'm overflowing with unpublished blog snippets, so today you get a 4-in-1. In reverse chronological order, here are some of my musings on the past several weeks in Delhi, Dharamshala, and Bangalore. Positive and negative transformation The first driver we visited Saturday, Jagadeesh, shared an incredibly inspiring story of how owning his auto through Three Wheels United had changed his life. After paying off his loan, he could afford to lease a nicer house and send his kids to private school. His wife no longer had to work and could manage the household. Before driving an auto, Jagadeesh worked in a garment factory earning only $100 per month. After driving an auto, he could triple or quadruple his income, pay off loans and support his family in living a more comfortable life. In the group of over 300 drivers taking loans, he worked relentlessly to pay extra each month and finish his loan a year early. I was astounded by how future-focused and diligent he was about providing for his family. We wrote down poster-worthy quotes about how TWU had changed his life. We expected another story of triumph in the second household we visited… after all, this house looked even nicer than the first. But before we could launch into interview questions, the driver Mohammed began telling our translator Chandini about his health troubles. A heart attack several months ago prevented him from driving, and thousands of dollars in health bills were piling up. He was forced to take a larger loan, and had paused the process of repaying his auto loan, which was now managed by a bank. We very quickly ran out of questions to ask; we finished our chai, wished him good health, and left quietly. Although two triumphant stories might have been best for our video for the company, the juxtaposition of hope and struggle provided a much more accurate picture of life. Without health insurance, many poor and lower-middle class people in India must choose between foregoing care and racking up bills they can’t pay. Learning both stories in the same day helped me realize how a loan can be the spark that starts a family on a path to prosperity, or the rock that anchors them under crippling debt. Chasing that Feeling I knew I loved cauliflower before, but this cauliflower, this hotel’s “Gobi Manchurian” was out of this world. The next day at lunch, and the day after that, I ordered it again at different places. But it wasn’t the same. This keeps happening with other foods, like the cheese naan. I love to chase the feelings of yesterday, but I can’t, they’re fleeting. There’s only now. Never returning I haven’t slept in the same bed for more than three nights in over a month. Eight different hostels or hotels, and a couple overnight busses (including one that I’m sitting on right now… at least there are beds!). Returning home to Davis to my own bed in my own room will certainly be nice. But is it really my room anymore, or just a guest room? I would even appreciate the slightly-less-comfortable bed in Santa Clara. But am I switching rooms there? I can’t remember. In this country of India where no bed is my own but every city is my oyster, I’m only going out, but never returning to something, somewhere, someone. I always have shelter thanks to booking.com, but never a home. Some might call it freedom, and it is! It’s a dream! When everything’s changing on the outside, I’m forced to reckon with the true me that’s inside. But it’s also exhausting to only go out and never come back. To always adjust, adapt, and plan for the new going-out of tomorrow. Productivity, creative output, and health suffer. Emotions, discovery, and opportunity thrive. When I get “home home,” one of the big agenda items of the next 4-8 months will be to find a new home for after graduation—a home city, a home apartment, a home company who pays for the (likely enormous) cost of the first two homes. A thrilling challenge, but a bit stressful. For now, I’ll just enjoy the ride, keep going, and trust that I’ll spend plenty of my life returning. Beyond the FogWhen we meet someone new, they often look like this. We see just a few feet before an impassable fog clouds our view of the horizon. When we first encounter a new environment, when we try to know what our future holds, when we don’t have the information we need to proceed, our vision is clouded. But as we share time, conversation—perhaps chai—the fog begins to lift. Subtleties of personality, stories of becoming, and a shared comfort emerge. At the right time, in the right space, I believe everyone looks like the image above. One of great joys of life is knowing another human in their sunset. To see them thriving, to see them as they were made to be.
And if you haven’t seen someone in their sunset, remember the beauty likely hiding behind the haze of separation between you. One question, one moment, one shared emotion or experience at a time, the fog will lift, and you both can appreciate each other in full beauty.
0 Comments
Leave a Reply. |
All Posts:
|